The Fear and Behaviour of the Four

The primary fear of the Four is of having no identity or personal significance. Fours tend to feel a sense of being somehow different from others, of not belonging or of feeling misunderstood. As a result they are not sure who they are. They feel that they are not like others but if they are not like others then who are they? So Fours focus on their feelings to establish a sense of identity although this can be tricky because feelings change and so they use their imaginations to help reinforce certain feelings which they believe are 'them' whilst other feelings are not 'them' and in so doing cultivate their idea of self and often an idealised self. Being the romantics of the Enneagram they hope someone will come along and rescue them by seeing them for who they really are. When Fours are healthy they have an authentic self expression that is unique and touching. When they are less present to themselves, however, the Four can cut others off, treating them disdainfully or rudely as if those people had no feelings of their own. By being dismissive or ignoring someone they make that person feel as if they have no identity or personal significance.