The Virtue of the Four

The Passion of the Four is Envy. Envy is not just looking at others and wishing we had what they have, it is the feeling that we are somehow lacking, that something is missing in us. When we feel this then it is easy to look at others and think that they seem happier or better off than us in some way. It means we are forever comparing ourselves and feeling that we come off worse in comparison - that the other has an easier life than we have, had a happier childhood, is luckier than we are, has more things 'going for them' than we do, and on and on. In the throws of envy we feel that we are uniquely apart, that no-one suffers like we do, that we are the only one that has problems or is wounded in some way. Fours tend to identify with their hurt and suffering, feeling as though they are deficient in some way. When this becomes a preoccupation they identify with being the victim and create their identity around this. Envy keeps them feeling separate from others and resentful of them. When Fours become aware of this tendency in themselves and start to understand how it operates in them and that it leads to emotional volatility and unhappiness, they can start to notice it as it occurs, to step back and not get emotionally wound up in it. This brings them to their Virtue of Equanimity, the ability to remain present to negative experiences or feelings without getting swept up in them. With equanimity they are able to remain grounded in their own value and so are not thrown off-balance by the frustrations of envy.