The Harmonics (2)

In my last post I started to look at the Harmonics which tell us how we deal with disappointment and also how we tend to get into conflicts. In that post I mentioned that the Types divide into three different triads: The Positive Outlook Group, The Reactive Group and the Competency Group. This week I am going to look at the Reactive Group which consists of the Four, Six and Eight. These three Types want their disappointment to be met on an emotional level and they tend to get into conflicts around object relations:

Fours tend to play the child or the 'victim' role, denying any responsibility for having got themselves into a situation.

Eights tend to play the adult role, becoming authoritarian and bossy, having a 'my way or the highway' attitude.

Sixes tend to play it both ways, sometimes playing the child role, being dependent and moaning about a situation without taking any responsibility for it and the next, rebelling against that and wanting to be the adult and becoming authoritarian and bossy.

To win these Types over in an argument they need to feel that you are 'in the trenches' with them and understand what they are going through. So putting a positive spin on things or focussing on facts and solutions is not going to do it for them. Meet them where they are in terms of their emotions. This lets them know that you understand them, that you understand what's at stake for them and are real about the issues. It reassures them and, in so doing, allows them to move on from their reactive state.