Give up defining yourself

Eckhart Tolle writes in his book A New Earth; Awakening to Your Life's Purpose:-

'Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem'.

This piece of advice seems to be in direct contradiction to working with the Enneagram or any other personality typology system which, by their very nature, seem to be ways in which to define the self. It is interesting that whilst we seem to be naturally resistant to the idea of being defined by anything or anyone - to be 'put in a box' as it were - we have, in fact, already done that to ourselves. We think of ourselves as being this or that sort of a person but who is the 'self' who is doing the defining? The ego is your idea of self. It defines you to you although that idea, that definition, is not something that is very apparent to us unless it is brought to our attention. This is what the Enneagram does. It is important to note that in order for our ego to define who we are it is also defining who we are not. So this idea has already put us in a box. It is only by understanding that box - how ego operates in us - that we start to overcome the limitations of it and move beyond it. It is not for an Enneagram teacher to tell you what ego Type you are. They can, however, facilitate the process of understanding in order to help you discover it. The paradox and the irony is that our real self is actually much more expansive, original and idiosyncratic than we think but our ego restricts our ability to reach it.

Butterflies in a shop window, Zurich